At first the thought of leaving seemed selfish.
Money had been spent on a wedding and a Disney vacation with our girls was around the corner.
But, if we didn’t carve out time alone now, then when?
After sifting through options it became clear that 4 nights and 5 days in Breckenridge, CO was where we were meant to land.
Twenty- four hours into our married life, we boarded a plan and found ourselves in the middle of those mountains.
And with nothing preplanned we made our way to daily mass where beautiful people prayed for our marriage then gave us some tips on good food and hiking.
Up to 12,500 feet elevation we climbed one day. My stubbornness almost got the best of us but this man, this partner, he’s my balance and his steadiness gave us direction.
We spent hours talking about our goals for the future, for ourselves and our family.
And when it was time to go, more gratefulness flooded my heart.
Happy to see our girls and ready for the real journey to begin.
These are my people now.
They love on me and my tribe in such an effortless way that it teaches me how to give more generously.
After five days together, in a sea of Disney, they still love me (I think).
A case of the “hangries”, meltdowns and tired legs (all of which were mine) and yet they have kept the invitation open for Christmas Eve at their house.
They are pretty special.
Not to mention they raised this boy into the most incredible man, husband and father.
I look forward to more of everything with these people.
Grateful that they are now mine.
Here’s the deal, this woman,
this one here,
in the white dress and big smile-
I’ll let you in on a secret.
She fails daily.
She at times finds it hard to breathe.
She’s been a less than perfect ex-wife.
She’s struggled with forgiveness.
She is an impatient mom.
She willingly admits these faults now because she is a recovering perfectionist.
In the recovery she has learned that the only way to slay the dragon is to acknowledge it and to name it.
You see the chase to perfect has eaten her soul at times.
It’s driven her body to revolt with shingles and kept her awake at night struggling to make her home look just as perfect as she hoped her heart would feel.
But perfect is an illusion.
It always leaves you wanting more.
What she craves is the joy that is born from the brokenness, from the failing.
So today, when she fails at work, at mothering, at being a wife, she will pause and remind herself that this life is much sweeter when she loves herself as her father loves her.
With or without that white dress and the big smile, full of imperfections, she will rest in his arms.