The screeching tonight at dinner had us all kinds of overloaded.

So many words from so many beautiful faces.

Attempting to follow the rollercoaster of feelings each one was emoting,

in that moment you looked at me and said “four years ago tonight if we had known…”

No truer words spoken.

If we had known of all the growing to take place, would we have stood in front of the alter arms outstretched?

If it had been foretold, the broken nights, the feeling of the free fall, would we have danced until our feet swelled?

Yes.

I didn’t want to wander any longer. I had found my home in your arms.

And so here we are.

The tears, the laughter, the noise, four years in and still making sense of how to navigate these roads.

Your love has brought me closer to who I am meant to be.

I am bolder. I am humbler.

I have emerged from a deep, dark valley and with your help found a way back to my soul.

I wouldn’t trade a second of these last 35,040 hours.

The next year will mark more transitions but this I know- with your love, your guiding light, home will feel brighter and my life lighter.

Thank you for your yes.

It was always you.

All my love,

H

PS- What more could be said then this?

September 24, 2021

Dear Ellery Jane,

No one could have readied me for the role of your Momma. While you may have been the last of the babies born from my body, you are a force singularly unique. A child that requires me to live life fully awake.

At any moment you may ask me to describe how clouds are made or why God let’s bad things happen to good people and bad people to have good things.

I am grateful for your questions. They stretch me and everyone in our orbit.

I am so proud of how you wear both your hurt and your happiness. You let us see it and in so doing give each of us permission to do the same.

From the time you started preschool your teachers have been consistent in their comments-

“She is a leader.”

“She sees everyone and seeks to make them feel included.”

“She is a helper.”

This past year I have watched you become even more of the person God is calling you to be.

You’ve dug deep, made new friends and found a new sport.

I couldn’t be prouder of the person you are.

Thank you for your jokes, your impersonations, your stories, your thought provoking questions and for your pursuit of what is right and true.

I cannot wait to see what this year holds for you.

All my love,

always and forever,

Your Momma

PS- This year’s song says it all…..