Monthly Archives: April 2020

Buying a Farm

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Our life has circled the edges of it.

The horse we own, the husband whose work is with the land and the children who desire to live outside more then in. Yet we remained in our beautiful suburban community, in all 3700 square feet of a house we really didn’t “need”. We have stayed because it is “comfortable”.

Like many, the weeks at home have found us contemplating things that mean the most to us. We began to dream about what life could look like living with those things at our center.

That is how we found ourselves one beautiful Sunday afternoon walking through the doors of a farmhouse for sale.

As we explored the house, the two barns and the 17 acres of farmland, forest and stream, all eight of us felt joy settle deep in the soul.

We offered what we thought was reasonable and now we find ourselves in contract.

There are steps still left in the process, a house to sell in a beautiful suburban community, but we are hopeful in months time we will have a new place to call home.

Syd at 13

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Dear Syd,

I love you but I don’t get to claim you.

You don’t come from my gene pool.

I don’t know what your cry sounded like at birth or what your favorite baby food was.

I missed first steps, first days of school and five hundred other firsts, but I am grateful that I get to be here today.

Watching you transform into this confident, funny and thoughtful young lady is one of the greatest gifts of my life. I can’t take credit for a single second of who you are becoming, but I get the profound privaledge of watching life unfold for you.

I know sometimes our relationship must feel awkward. I am this woman that walked into your world at 10 and upended life as you knew it.

Thank you for forgiving me for my failings. For understanding when I don’t say the right things or how I sometimes serve raw meat for dinner. Thank you for teaching me that love comes at different times and in many different packages.

I am so happy we get to do life together.

For your thirteenth year I wish for you more late nights laughing with your sisters, more inside jokes and crushes on boys, more stargazing, more growing in grace, more tiaras, more tutus and less worrying about what others may be thinking of you.

I get prouder of you with every passing year.

Happy birthday beautiful girl. I love you more then words can say.

Love,

H.

Momma.

P.S. Can I say I am patting myself on the back with this year’s pick? Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Miles

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I found my way back home on its belt.

25 miles a week over ten years means 13,000 miles of treadmill runs logged.

While little girls slept she showed me I could soar.

Today she stopped working.

I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that I wondered if it was a sign.

As 43 lurks around the corner was someone whispering that this body was better suited for pilates and the occasional pavement run?

While standing in a pool of my silly tears I realized I was being reminded that I could find myself again in the run.

Tomorrow at 7am when the forecast calls for 34 degrees and partly cloudy skies, I will fly.

Here’s to 13,000 more on the open road.

Lost

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The job gone.

Position altered, choices made.

The whole of a adult life wrapped up in the climb. Each job over the next defining self worth.

And, in the midst of the fog, catastrophe strikes, one only Hollywood could dream up.

So we sit.

While the world waits, I wait with it.

Giving up on asking questions, knowing the answers will be reached in his time, not mine.

Living in the limits of twenty-four hours. What would he have me do today?

Be here.

Sit with them.

Steer the ship through this storm.

Navigate what is new to all of us.