At Sunday brunch Sidney was reflecting on her problems with another adult whom she felt wasn’t “keeping promises”. As I was attempting to guide her through it I explained that adults make mistakes too and not everyone is perfect. She countered with “But Momma you are perfect. You never make mistakes and you always say what’s right”.
And there it was laying on my heart like a ton of bricks.
This notion that my child believes me to be perfect.
Ironic as I had just had an email exchange with an old friend where that same word was central to the conversation.
How wonderful that my child can see through it all to find the perfection inside of her momma. But what if it’s only because I am not showing her all of me?
Does she not know what the face of failure looks like?
Has she not seen me grovel; say sorry to those I have wronged; asked forgiveness for sins committed?
In my strive for authenticity I realize I cannot do it within a bubble, every few days of the week or when only certain people are in my presence. It has to be an all in approach. Even with my children.
So for Sidney I offer the following.
I love that you think I am perfect.
But I too, like the grown up who wronged you, make mistakes every day (almost hourly).
This weekend alone –
I’ve spent too much time on my iphone
I ran into the garage wall (again). I don’t want you to notice because I know you will tell Uncle David who spent hours repairing the last hole I made.
I lied to Audrey on Saturday night when I told her I would sleep in the middle. I slept on the left side of the bed as I always do. Not sure why I couldn’t just be honest with her in the first place.
And finally, I had a cup of coffee….
I’m trying really hard baby.
But perfect I am not.
How about I share more of my failings?
And, for the record, you should know that you my dear are perfect……
All my love,