Reflection

Posted on January 4, 2017 by heatherdahl under Parenting

We took a break.

The four of us in a little bubble for 10 days.

We traveled.

Saw ones we loved.

Woke up late and enjoyed our new toys.

It was a glorious holiday season.

And when New Year’s Day rolled around I found myself wanting nothing more than to curl up with my girls and enjoy the last remnants of the season.

Now we are all back to school and work and activities. Finding myself in a reflective mood; so very grateful for the year that was.

The adventures we had, the dreaming we did.

And as we begin a new season of dreaming, I realize what I want for this new year is all rather simple.

One of these little ladies is only 5 years away from moving out on her own.

Soaking up her light in my home is my new year’s desire.

Helping her find her calling will be another.

Gifted with a laptop for Christmas I’ve found her typing away on the keyboard. Essay’s and musings by Audrey Hope; that makes a Momma’s heart swell.

And this one, bringing up the rear.

I will hold her more. I will carry her whenever she asks. I will read her stories before bed and sing her lullabies. Because, experience has taught me, I will not know the exact moment that it is the last time I carry her in my arms or loll her to sleep with an off key rendition of Baby Mine.

So that is how I will choose to live out this new year.

I’ve spent too many years looking back. This is my year to live in the present.

Tradition

Posted on December 15, 2016 by heatherdahl under divorce, Parenting

It was that time.

Our yearly trek to the Christmas tree farm.

Determined this year to find the biggest one that these 4 sets of hands could cut down and haul back to the barn unassisted.

We hadn’t quite found a way to make it out earlier in the month when the weather was hovering in the low 50’s.

Instead, we managed to pick a 21 degree morning to put on our boots, pick up our saw and head out in search of holiday perfection.

There was a pep talk first, which when looking at the picture makes one believe it was much more of the “stern warning” variety then the uplifting kind.

Consensus was reached 20 minutes into our adventure;

after of course they all made their case for a tree they had “discovered”.

Ultimately we did the happy dance when we found this guy.

Then my phone died and with it the chance to document Momma on her side chopping down nine and a half feet of white pine goodness.

We warmed up with some pizza from our favorite pizza shop that’s right around the corner from the tree farm, then headed home to put her up.

This year all 5’8 of Sid proved to be particularly helpful.

She was the untangler of lights and Ellery Jane’s own personal ladder.

Audrey our comedic relief when Momma got frustrated with setback.

Sometime around 4pm we stepped back to marvel at our doing.

We’d done it again, together, our tradition.

Making memories, my team, my family.

This Joy

Posted on December 12, 2016 by heatherdahl under divorce, Parenting

I heard his words.

This day, in this wooden pew, in this church in Cincinnati, Ohio, I listened.

As the priest told us how joy is not a state of mind but a condition we choose to live in;

a grace given by the father, all to often left unopened,

I nodded my head in agreement.

Looking to my right and left at the faces of those I cherished most in this world, I understood.

We do hard things.

We wrestle challenge.

But, each day, we make a choice to live in the grace he has provided.

The pain and the joy partners on this path.

“Momma are you crying”, she whispered in my ear.

“No tears today”, I whispered back;

just JOY.

from The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis:

To Serve

Posted on November 25, 2016 by heatherdahl under Parenting

Powerful moments that move our souls when we kneel at the feet of those who cannot carry the load.

We miss our Ziva girl and knew her passing meant the end of an era.

While we are unable to open our home in lifetime commitment to a four legged friend, we can certainly, offer our hearts over a Thanksgiving.

A home for his holiday.

Gunner came to us for a brief 48 hours.

Full of love and cuddles.

A quiet soul looking for a place to rest his head.

Probably judged one too many times for the mix in his breed.

In a perfect world this lovely old boy finds a place to spend his later years.

And in our world will remember him for the joy he brought to this moment.

If interested in adopting Gunner please contact Lindsey at the Humane Society of Delaware County.

http://www.hsdcohio.org/

To blink

Posted on November 18, 2016 by heatherdahl under Parenting

She went from this

to this

in the blink of an eye.

And this one, just a second ago, was refusing bottles.

Now she’s refusing the squash I make and talking me into getting her a facial.

This one was once my baby.

Now she’s my boss.

The girls that I once carried,

are now, carrying me.

Faces

Posted on October 24, 2016 by heatherdahl under Parenting

She is all personality;

full of passion;

the light in our home;

and the comedic genius.

She is one special little girl.

When momma is busy putting sisters to bed, she’s also an expert selfie taker.

Happiness

Posted on September 26, 2016 by heatherdahl under divorce, Parenting

Somewhere along the way I found it easier to write about the pain then to document the joy.

Pen to paper, words poured out in sadness.

An instant relief in the acknowledgement of the agony.

But, what am I to do when days of joy fall swiftly one after the other?

I’m not chasing the stages of grief. If I say it out loud will I jinx it?

You should know I am happy.

I make plans for my girls.

I dream about the man I love.

And, I am in awe of the life I’m living.

The words now typed I will trust.

Regardless of what happens next, today’s joy will always be mine.

And then she was 6

Posted on September 24, 2016 by heatherdahl under Parenting

Dear Ellery Jane,

Six year ago today you completed our family; the exclamation point at the end of our sentence.

We became a team on September 24, 2010.

We our grateful and we are blessed that God brought you into our home.

Each day you delight us with your wit and your charm.

With your presence, laughter fills this space.

You’re simply the most perfect bundle of love.

Six years have flown by in the blink of an eye.

But you, more than any other, have taught me to slow down and cherish the moment.

Enjoy your day my most beautiful girl.

I cannot wait to watch your next year unfold.

I am very proud of you.

Love,

Your one and only Momma

P.S-

Your favorite part of the letter (maybe next year I should begin with this); your birthday song. It’s a better place since you came along my girl.

Farewell

Posted on September 16, 2016 by heatherdahl under Parenting

She taught compassion.

She modeled empathy.

She showed endless, unconditional love.

She was patient.

She protected tender hearts.

She was for each of us an ear to listen when all others would do is speak.

She was a gentle soul living out a second act.

I can’t help but feel I failed her.

But, in her ending, we are give another chance to learn.

Life expectancy does not dictate the impact of one’s life.

Tonight we will honor her with her favorites. We will take a walk in the woods, sit on the patio, lick peanut butter from spoons and watch the sun fade.

Good night dear friend, until we meet again.

Stillness

Posted on September 7, 2016 by heatherdahl under Parenting

There is a space inside that yearned for quiet.

I tried to find it in activity;

the daily morning runs,

the housework,

the grocery,

the hour after children are sleeping while lunches are packed and papers signed.

I thought I could find the quiet as long as I was by myself;

taught that sitting alone with words dancing in my head, my hands idle, is not how one gets to next.

Fill your days.

Do more, be more, strive for more.

Whatever you do don’t just sit.

The void remained.

It took half a lifetime to learn that its ok to just be,

that in order for the silence to come I must invite it with my posture.

Each morning now words of thanks whispered from the perch on my leather chair. The quiet I find in the stillness of the moment.

I am not doing.

It doesn’t mean I am less then.

It means I can become more than I was.

And I don't mean because of anxiety or stress. I simply enjoy taking a couple deep breaths-- filling my lungs with life and being ever so present in the moment and appreciative of life. My mind is always filled dreams, ideas, creative thoughts, life situations, loved ones, etc... So it's nice to be still and breathe. Very peaceful.:

A Joyful Life

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Category Archives: Parenting