There is a space inside that yearned for quiet.

I tried to find it in activity;

the daily morning runs,

the housework,

the grocery,

the hour after children are sleeping while lunches are packed and papers signed.

I thought I could find the quiet as long as I was by myself;

taught that sitting alone with words dancing in my head, my hands idle, is not how one gets to next.

Fill your days.

Do more, be more, strive for more.

Whatever you do don’t just sit.

The void remained.

It took half a lifetime to learn that its ok to just be,

that in order for the silence to come I must invite it with my posture.

Each morning now words of thanks whispered from the perch on my leather chair. The quiet I find in the stillness of the moment.

I am not doing.

It doesn’t mean I am less then.

It means I can become more than I was.