failing

Oh poop.

This week I have failed horribly at my challenge. Confronted with opportunities to look up all week long and I didn’t take it. I didn’t want to. I was too focused on myself.

There was the nurse at the doctor’s office I was exceptionally impatient with after I waited for over 45 minutes to see the doctor.  She apologized profusely to me and offered that they had some challenges with an “in office procedure”  and were running late.

I didn’t offer anything in return- no ” that’s alright” or “I understand”. I gave no grace and did not see her as a person but only as a barrier to my appointment being on time.  I huffed and puffed throughout my office visit until I got to my car. Sitting behind the steering wheel thinking about how I was now late to pick up my kids which would of course make me late for the evenings extra curricular activities, my thoughts were interrupted as the nurse’s comment about “challenges with a procedure” smacked me in the head. Holy cow Dahlberg.  It’s not all about you.

Then there was the evening spent with Sid at riding lessons. The chance to engage with Sid’s teacher (as I have been meaning to ask her how a 21-year-old college student  manages classes, teaching and maintaining a barn full of horses) and instead I sat in my car making another mental to do list and returning more work phone calls that I had not gotten to that day. I called two employees at 6:30 that night. 

Wow, boss of the year. Instead of creating for my team the sense of work/ family balance, I made them feel as if they are on call 24/7 all because I didn’t get to them during regular business hours.

And finally there was the unfortunate fellow who tried to engage me in conversation at the McDonald’s drive through. Poor teenager just trying to do his job, but me frustrated that I had to wait for the next batch of sweet tea to brew. How dare he ask me about me day while I had screaming children to feed, dogs that needed let out at home, emails that had to be answered and laundry that needed finishing.

So I guess now all that’s left to do is what I did not do for others- give myself some grace. I will pick myself up from the remnants of the last seven days and make my way into a new week.  A week with the same amount of stories I am sure; the difference being this time I will actually listen to them.

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