And then she was nine

Dear Sidney,

9 years ago today you burst forth into our world. You turned two self-centered and broken 27 year olds into parents and began us on a journey we could have never dreamed possible.


From your first days on this planet you brought immeasurable joy to our lives and challenged us to become better people. Nine years later nothing has changed.

You have always been in a hurry. It started when we had planned your birth to occur one week before your due date (wouldn’t you know you have a bit of your father’s stubborn streak and you did not want to flip into the appropriate birth position). When we arrived at the hospital in the very early morning hours of August 27, 2004 the doctors performed the standard ultrasound to confirm your position before surgery. They discovered that at some point in the days prior I had begun to lose amniotic fluid and you my child were swimming in very little of it. It was as if you were trying to assure your family that you did in fact want out now so please just get on with it.


The joy on the day of your birth could not possibly be quantified and that was just the start of it! I didn’t understand how my heart could grow and stretch to accommodate all of the joy that one little girl could bring.

It is such a privilege to be your parent Sid. From your earliest days when we learned of your colic and found that the only thing that would soothe you would be the heartbeats of your parents, we knew that our bond would be a very special one. To this day you are the first of my girls to run into my arms for a hug when I walk in the door after work and you are always sensitive to the moods of both your daddy and I. You rush to the scene dolling out comfort when one of your family members needs it.

sidkissing audrey

You love your animals, your horses and your doggies. sidziva

Today my heart breaks a little when I see you ride your ponies. I think about how independent you now are. You in the stall tacking up, no help from your teacher. And then on your horse (jumping now eeks), pushing us with your desire to do it all on your own. Still in your own time. One day my darling you too will be a mom and you will understand how someone can be so happy and so sad in the same moment.


You my precious girl are strong in both body and spirit. I am amazed every day how you have grown from this-


 first day first grade

to this:


first day fourth grade

Remember how strong you are in the years ahead when someone tells you that you are not perfect (it will happen we all get our hearts broken). Recall the way you shoot a basket, how you swim like a dolphin, can catch a fish (almost bare handed) and how you are loved and cherished by your parents and God.

I always tell you how I wish I could slow down time so you could stay little forever.


sidkindergartenBut Sidney this life, your life, it is not about me. It’s not about your dad either, or your sisters or your friends. It’s about you. We can’t force you to stay little. Your job now is to grow and thrive and learn. You have the power to turn your life into anything imaginable (although I do need to tell you that your chances of becoming a Thoroughbred jockey are slim to none as I believe you surpassed their height requirements in the third grade).

Sidney Reagan Schmaltz, on this your 9th birthday your dad and I thank God for the gift of your life. You are a promised fulfilled. Now get on with it and show the world what you are capable of!


your one and only mama

PS -The following song makes me think of you!

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