Dating

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I’ve navigated the channel of divorce in a forthcoming manner.

I share the experience and what I have learned in hopes that in the offering others will gain.

I acknowledge the wrongs I have made, maybe in an attempt to set things right.

But one area I’ve never felt comfortable sharing publicly is how I manage, at 38, to navigate a world vastly different from the one I left in 1999 when I took another’s hand in marriage.

There are cellphones.

There is texting.

People email and very rarely write letters.

Courting is a foreign thing and love is often decided in minutes rather than months.

Many times over the last two years, I have pondered walking away.

My life is full.

I have everything I could have ever asked for and more.

So why then would I travel this difficult path that may or may not place me in front of a person to share my world?

Am I hoping for that fairy tale ending? The knight to ride in, sweep me off my feet and bring me the stability I often crave?

No.

I’ve learned to love my state of independence too much.

My decisions are my own. My life made up of my choices.

I date because it makes me uncomfortable.

I date because I can learn more about who I am when I examine myself through the lens of another.

I date because God called me to live in community with others and the most intimate form of community is partnership and marriage.

I don’t know what the plan is for my next years on this earth.

I imagine there will be some heartache. I guarantee I will face down fears.

Ultimately it is not in my hands who does or does not walk this road with me.

I may not know what lies ahead, but I believe I am up to the challenge.

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