Before she sleeps each night she asks me for two songs, always in the same order.
“Baby Mine first Momma”.
“Now Amazing Grace Momma”.
Why those songs? Of all the lullabies why does she choose a song from Dumbo and one of the most recognizable hymns on the planet to ring in her ears each night?
She’s old enough now that when the first strands of Amazing Grace leave my lips she joins me in the tune. Some nights her big sisters wander in and together, knees bent, hands on her belly we all sing.
I once was lost but now am found was blind but now I see.
Many a night the ritual has been rushed. A quick verse of each song, a peck on the cheek and the sign of the cross on her forehead before I slip out her door.
Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved.
It is on those nights that I have rushed through a verse of each song that I often find myself sneaking back in long after she has gone to sleep to touch her hair or brush my hand across her cheek.
I wonder if she knows I did not mean to rush her. That I understand she needs my grace each night before she closes her eyes.
And I wonder if she knows that I need her grace too.
How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed.