The best part of our week was connecting with folks we haven’t seen in months. Kicking off the week by spending time with my Uncle and Aunt. The girls think of them like another set of grandparents and I appreciate that we all have another set of role models to look up to.

New Year’s Eve had Sid coming into the office and working with me for a morning. There is something amazingly rewarding when you leave for home after 5 hours at the office and your little girl turns to you and says “I wish I could come to work with you everyday. That was so much fun Momma”.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Audrey and Ellie were co-designing a piece of artwork for me. 

New Year’s Eve Sidney had a friend sleepover and Audrey and Ellie were in bed by 9, so I curled up with two of my favorite guys to ring in the new year.

New Year’s Day saw me starting my detox and the big girls insisting we dine at Cheesecake Factory. My will power was strong and I enjoyed my salmon salad and no desert. Sid devoured their red velvet cheesecake (she has her daddy’s palate).

Finally, this one’s been on repeat this week-

Breathing deeply.

Exhaling into the new year.

Living in the here and now.

Realizing that while one chapter closes it creates the space for new chapters to begin.

Waiting to see what her colors will be-

how this butterfly will spread her wings.

Thank you for the cups of coffee, the glasses of wine, the hugs in passing and the smiles across the room.

Thank you for your encouragement, for your visits, for the meals, for the generosity shown to my family and I.

Thank you for the words uttered in prayer, over emails and in late night phone calls; those words have carried me through these months.

Thank you for making me feel strong.

Thank you for making me feel loved.

On this Christmas, I could not be more grateful for the opportunity to fully appreciate all that this life has given us.

With our sincerest appreciation and much love for the kindness shown,

the Schmaltz Girls wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, Joy-Filled 2014.

I am not Superwoman.
I do not have all the answers.
Every day I fail.
I fail -
at home, 
at work,
in my relationships with others,
in my relationship with God.

We are taught from a very young age that we can have it all;
that we can succeed at absolutely everything.
But the fact of the matter is that no person can possibly live up to those
standards.

It is in the failing each day that we gain the most- 
the most insight,
the most humilty,
the most love.

I hope my girls walk away from their years with me with the understanding
that it is ok to fail.
Not that we are striving for nothing, but that in order to succeed we must
understand that the chances are just as good that we will fail. 
Failure adds, it does not diminish.

I am not the sum of my failures but I am their learning's.
They stretch me.

So tonight I will forgive myself for my failures.
I will forgive myself-
for the wrong words used with Ellie,
for the inattention to detail at Audrey's party,
for the promises I didn't keep,
for the misstep at work, 
for the failing to give thanks.

Tomorrow I will get up and try again.
I am not Superwoman.
I am simply a woman striving.

These girls are magic.

They are spit fires.

Their smiles light up rooms.

They have an ease about them that makes those who encounter them feel instantly accepted.

They fight hard and love hard.

They know who they are and own it with confidence.

They are love.

Sometimes the days fly by in such a blur you feel like all you’ve done is chase them down all week.

And finally, when given the chance to pause at 6am on Saturday morning with a blanket of freshly fallen snow lining the backyard and three little girls sleeping in other places, you realize that the days flying by were a gift. A gift not in that time moved so fast, but a gift in that your days were so full of love and adventure that you hardly had time to realize it when moving through them.

Every Monday morning at 8:30am I meet with my boss. Often on a Sunday night at 8pm I find myself scrolling through the previous weeks emails to refresh my memory and gather my thoughts before our weekly standing. It can be overwhelming when you look at life through the lens of an inbox. But this morning, when trying to recall all that filled my week, I went to my inbox – this time not focusing on the work but on everything else.

There was the $5 Starbucks gift card emailed to me by a former coworker now turned dear friend. She just wanted me to know she was thinking of me. The love in that simple act reminding me of all of our “coffee breaks” together over the years.

There were the countless emails planning for a trip to the range with a coworker. On Thursday night that hour and a half trip made me feel unbelievably strong and capable.

There were the emails about Sid’s desire to scout horses with her riding instructor. Ah the joy in her eyes when she came back that night from her adventure.

And there were emails from coworkers asking me to lunch or planning the pre-holiday party get together. The get together that coincidentally made me laugh until it hurt.

This is my life- my crazy, beautiful gift of a life.

How privileged am I to be able to chase down these days and run through these weeks?

Fourteen years ago today, on a crisp, clear, post Thanksgiving Saturday I said I Do.

Had I choose not to I would not have-

Those three precious girls asleep in my bed;

The people on that day who became my in law’s but who I now call friends;

The friendships made over years of football games, concerts and summer barbeques;

This house with it’s freshly fallen snow lining my backyard;

This job that each day makes me feel stronger and more connected;

This city.

Today there is joy.

Joyful life,  grateful heart.

Look at this face

That’s her “I am happy and mad at the same time” face.

It’s hard to get angry at a face that cute and a personality that large.

Three has to be one of the most beautiful and difficult ages. They live their lives with a split personality, turning on a dime. They are stretching and growing; just trying to figure out their own boundaries.

I love watching her stretch herself each day.

I love watching that little face go through 4 emotions in the span of 5 minutes.

And I love when she comes home from school singing a song about turkey’s landing on her head.

Yep that’s right she says she learned a Thanksgiving song on Tuesday and this is what she came home singing-

I am continually reminded of how lucky I am to have these women in my life. Women who drop everything to fly thousands of miles to spend the weekend loving on my girls and I. Women who cook me meals and bring them to me at work. Women who text me everyday just to let me know they are thinking of us.

It was Aunt Jen’s turn to fly in this weekend and she brought the ever adorable baby Emma. My girls were over the moon excited for their visit.

How could you not want to spend every waking moment with a face like this?

Emma and Jekyll bonded. Thankfully Emma is the most laid back, happy baby and could care less about all of the “kisses” from him.

I told Jen about Sidney’s frustrations with learning the violin. The first 6 months of learning any new musical instrument can be extremely slow and annoying. Aunt Jen gave Sidney the pep talk and the tools she needed to get over this hump. I caught her playing last night without me reminding her so I do think it worked!

The girls loved the chance to focus their attention on everything Emma. Again most grateful for how relaxed she is. Can you imagine eating dinner with this in your face each time?

We wrapped up the weekend with a visit to Aunt Lisa. While the grown ups ate the house grew a little too quiet. We caught 4 of the 6 little girls in the house doing this-

Yep playing Go Fish. No protests, no arguments just happy times playing a card game on a Sunday night.

The weekend was good for the soul.

“Weeping may linger for the night but joy comes with the morning” Psalm 30:5

Grateful for mornings.

A text from a friend urging me to get out of bed at 5am and run because she knows the treadmill will heal me.

Coffee in hand, breakfast consumed, ready to take on the day but first the 3 miles that will make me feel strong enough to do it.

In times of trial blessings take unexpected forms. Today it takes the form of a text message on a morning when I especially felt the need to bury my head under the covers and forget that it was another day.

Joy initiated by a note from a friend willing me to just run.